Assalamualaikum.

Hi Farah is back! It's been a long time I didn't write any post since the last post about Reset Modem tu kan. Well, Farah busy sangat dengan exam, lepas-lepas exam tu pergi bercuti dengan classmates pastu balik dari cuti huh, langsung takdak mood nak post apa apa pun. I guess my life starting to get bored? I hope not. Tinggal beberapa hari lagi nak masuk semester baru, meet again dengan kawan-kawan yang Farah rapat dekat Arau, it's such a bless Allah introduced them to me, seriously they are bunch of crazy monkeys, stupid but kindhearted gila. They will be there to help if you are in trouble, inshaaAllah. 

Back to the topic. Actually, Farah nak cerita sikit la, tak banyak pun pasal "crush" ni. Hm, dulu Farah tak tahu apa benda pun pasal crush ni sebenarynya, totally. Pernah dengar tak lagu Crush by David Archuleta? Ha! Even Farah suka dengar lagu tu, waktu tu Farah Tingkatan 1 atau 2 macam tu laa, Farah takdak idea langsung apa maksud crush tu. Lepas tu, even dah masuk diploma, some of my friends ni kadang-kadang dia cakap "eh, crush aku, crush kau lah!" crush crush crush and pop! Now I knew it what is that crush thing. Crush, someone that we fond secretly, without that person know about it. If that person knew, dah tak jadi crush dah rasanya, perhaps "crushed" kot kena reject. Bagi Farah, crush is something that had been destined to be "crushed" sebab diorang ni taktahu pun kewujudan orang yang sukakak diorang.

So, when my diploma's friends keep mentioning about crush here, crush there, I'm asking myself. What is so special about crush? What I meant is, why do we like that person even though that person doesn't know about our existence? We only had seen their faces, smiles, and so on yet we are still liking them without any solid reasons. It means that we only liking them based on their appearance, right? So, I just ignored about that crush things but I'm still make fun of my friends when their crush were close with us. 

But, when I'm entering into degree life, I felt like I want to punch myself and laugh out loud because that one thing that I promised to myself that I won't have, was happening to me. I have a crush on someone. BIG LOL, seriously. It's not like he is handsome or witty or rich, but he is being himself, caring, soft spoken, polite but dear, sometimes thing doesn't flow smoothly as we wish right? So that's what happened to me too.

So apa yang Farah nak cakap kat sini is, it is okay, it is fine kalau awak-awak semua ni ada crush tau, kita ni manusia, jangan nak acah stone sangat lah kan. Tapi jangan biar perasaan tu kawal diri kita. Yes, tak salah awak nak tengok dia ke apa ke. First pengajarannya is you may confess to that one person yang awak suka dia, kalau dia taknak terima ke apa ke, tu dia punya hak untuk tentukan, not yours. But from my friend's view, they said, jangan beritahu dia, please girl. But, I took the first chance by told him, but I said, he "was" my crush not anymore after I found out about him having a girlfriend.

So for now, I'm back to my position, being crazy monkey who be friend with everyone, jadi gila dengan semua orang, okay no, tak semua, only dengan kawan-kawan yang terdekat because Farah still ada barrier lagi dengan orang yang kurang rapat ni. Until now still lagi solo sebab Farah ada kawan-kawan yang boleh isi kekosongan hati tu, tipulah kalau Farah cakap Farah tak sunyi kan. Ada masa-masa dia Farah cemburu tengok orang yang dah ada pasangan, serious cakap. Tapi, Farah percaya dengan Qada' dan Qadar, Allah dah tulis dah sesuatu untuk kita. Yang kita cuma perlu buat sekarang ni adalah berdoa dan tunggu saja. Berusaha cari pun kena jugak, tu penting. Farah harap Farah boleh jumpa someone yang betul-betul boleh terima kita apa adanya, yang sayang kita and ikhlas. Itu saja. Ameen.